Porn and sex addiction counselling, without the shame
You might recognize this
- You cleared the history again and promised yourself that was the last time.
- It used to be once in a while. Now it’s how you fall asleep.
- Your partner found the messages, and the worst part was the look on their face.
- You’re not sure if it’s an addiction or if you’re just weak. Both answers scare you.
- You’ve hidden it so long that telling the truth feels more dangerous than the habit.
When porn, sex or online habits feel out of control and hiding them has become a second job. Davis trained in sex addiction therapy and works mostly with men.
Davis Wiggs works with this. Sessions from $145.
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How we work with it
Most people who book for this have hidden it for years. They expect to be judged, or told they’re a pervert, or lectured. None of that happens here. Davis trained as a sex addiction therapist, and most of the people he sees for this are men who have spent a long time putting on a brave face. (More on counselling for men.)
Understanding what it’s doing for you
Compulsive sexual behaviour usually does a job. It numbs, soothes, distracts, or fills a gap: loneliness, stress, boredom, old hurt that never got talked about. So the first sessions look at the pattern itself. When does it happen? What comes just before? What does it give you, and what does it take?
Davis is warm, and he’s direct. He’ll help you look at the shame without letting it run the show, and he’ll ask the tough questions when you’re avoiding something. Shame keeps the cycle going. Honesty, with support, can help break it.
Building something that works better
Then the work turns practical: boundaries that fit your real life, ways to handle urges, and what to do in the hours you’re most likely to slip. Between sessions you might track patterns or practise a hard conversation. Setbacks happen; they’re information, not proof you’ve failed.
When a partner is involved
If your partner has found out, the next few weeks matter. Disclosure done in pieces, or under pressure, can hurt more than the original secret. Davis can help you work out what to say and how, and can work with you both in couples counselling using Emotion Focused Therapy once you’re ready. Your partner can also book their own sessions; there’s a page for partners written for them.
Privacy
Sessions are by video or phone, from wherever you can talk freely: a parked truck at lunch counts. Camera off is fine. Phone works too.
Who on our team works with this
Main specialty
Davis Wiggs
Registered Therapeutic Counsellor
Addiction, the quieter habits nobody talks about, and couples after betrayal. Kind, and he’ll still ask the hard question.
- Fees
- From $145 Sliding scale
- Times
- Tuesday to Thursday evenings, Saturday mornings and afternoons
Waitlist: join through Jane
Good to know
Honest notes, including free options and when a different kind of help fits better.
If you’re having thoughts of suicide after a discovery or disclosure, call or text 9‑8‑8. You’re not alone with this.
- Davis’s training is in sex addiction (through the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals), not sex therapy for sexual function. If your concern is sexual function or desire, ask us for a referral.
- Partners often need support of their own. A partner can book their own sessions, with Davis or with a different counsellor on the team if you’d each rather have a space that’s yours.
- If a disclosure has left anyone feeling unsafe at home, VictimLinkBC is free, confidential and open 24/7: 1‑800‑563‑0808.
Common questions
Is porn addiction real?
Clinicians argue about the label. Some prefer “compulsive sexual behaviour”, which the World Health Organization lists in its diagnostic manual. The label matters less than the question underneath: is this costing you things you care about, and can you stop when you want to?
Will you judge my sexuality or what I’m into?
No. The work is about what feels out of control and what it’s costing you, not about your orientation or your preferences. Davis is LGBTQ+ informed and works with polyamorous and non-monogamous people.
Should I tell my partner?
That’s a big decision, and it’s worth making carefully rather than in a panic. Davis can help you think through what to share, when, and how, so it doesn’t do more damage.
Can we come as a couple?
Yes. Many people start alone, then bring their partner in once they’re ready. Davis uses Emotion Focused Therapy with couples.
Is it only men?
Most of Davis’s clients for this are men, but anyone can book. If you’d prefer a woman counsellor, ask in your free consultation and we’ll talk through the options.
Start with one free conversation.
Start with a free consultation with Davis. Say as much or as little as you like; it’s a conversation, not a commitment.
Next you’ll pick a time in Jane, our secure booking system. It asks for your name, email and phone.
Rather talk first? 250‑689‑6927